At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize