i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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