so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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