so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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