quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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