were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
