Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
