What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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