just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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