we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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