STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
