I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
