just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Are we still banned from the library?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
