Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize