i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
