Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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