There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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