i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
