you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
