There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
