I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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