Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
