I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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