GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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