when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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