It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
