In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
