How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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