Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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