Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
