Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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