Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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