ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I looked at my own cervix.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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