Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
