so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
