Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize