I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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