Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
