Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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