I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
