Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
