I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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