Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
