remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You took a bar mat shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize