i think my mom watched the whole time
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
