If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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