I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
