Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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