After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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