In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
