I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
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She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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