Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
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