She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize