Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
