I just threw up on my dentist
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus