I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
