If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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