I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
