what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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