friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
