Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
