The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
