i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
