eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
